View Full Version : advice, ladies! and gents, too
blackeyedAngel
10-20-2006, 04:18 PM
warning: this thread will make me sound like a big fat slut, but i'm not, i promise.
my current boyfriend...i have been "involved" with him in various and sundry ways since high school, but we didn't start dating 'til college. we used to fool around when we'd get drunk, but usually nothing beyond making out. although once or twice, i went down on him (that phrase sounds kinda silly to me now). now that i'm with him, i have the same problem i did then: i cannot get him off, orally or manually. sex does the job just fine, so it's not like he has a problem ejaculating, but i can't make it happen any other way.
here's the weird part (and the part that will make me sound like a big fat slut): i have "performed orally" on a few other guys in my day...and i always got a very good response. not trying to toot my own horn, but i never had a problem getting any of them off. but i cannot do it to this guy to save my life! he says he thinks it's cuz he masturbates so much, and like, his penis is desensitized or something, or only he knows how to do it, whatever. but it totally sucks! i know it's not me, i mean, i'm good! :darn:
your take on this?
jas1n
10-20-2006, 04:53 PM
maybe he can cut back on his masturbating?
Barbara
10-20-2006, 05:10 PM
I dunno Angel, guys are weird like that sometimes. I can get my bf off orally every once in a while, but mostly he likes it as foreplay and says that he has always had trouble getting off that way...he said he feels like he's going to but then doesn't. He told me that I'm the only chick who has ever actually accomplished it orally, so I guess I can't be that bad :D I've noticed that the longer we go without having sex, the more likely he'll be to get off that way once I go down on him again.
and nah, you don't sound like a slut, you just wanna please your man :) this is probably TMI, but the first guy I was ever with, we did the oral thing for a while before I lost my virginity... I was doing it the ol' head-bobbing trying-to-take-as-much-of-the-shaft-as-possible way, but it would take something like 30 minutes to an hour! holy mouth & neck cramps D: but eventually, we somehow figured out that if I would stop the bobbing routine and just use my tongue vigorously on the tip only, he would get off every time, within a few minutes. He was the only guy I knew like this though. Maybe he just has his own weird thing that will work for him, or maybe he just has more trouble that way. Fuck, I didn't have an orgasm from oral sex till I was like 22, until someone thankfully figured out what worked for me ;)
Hi There, Am Pam
10-20-2006, 05:25 PM
That, and perhaps he could show you what he does that works for him?
BTW, it did not (in my eyes), make you sound like a slut. Unless of course, you meant, "My highschool football team never complained", in which case, I would have to give you the Scarlett Letter.
blackeyedAngel
10-21-2006, 01:22 AM
lol, no, the amount of guys i've gone down on fits on one hand, rest assured.
rogaine
10-21-2006, 01:31 AM
me too, if i had lots of extra fingers.
just kidding.
but seriously, ask him what he likes. like my ex hated it when i touched his balls and so with my new bf i never did that until he asked me to start. and it makes him climax a lot faster. one think that i've found helps a lot too is using your hands and mouth at the same time. it must be like pleasure overload or something... :loveing:
blackeyedAngel
10-21-2006, 01:34 AM
i do ask him what he likes. i've tried everything in the book. and he always enjoys it, and he'll say he feels like he's getting close, but he can never finish. it's really frustrating cuz with other guys, i could do it in a reasonable amount of time.
rogaine
10-21-2006, 01:43 AM
maybe he knows how gross it is to get cum on you/in your mouth and he likes you so much that he doesn't want to. ;)
no but seriously, is he like this with other girls? it could be like... something to do with your relationship rather than your ability. whether that makes you feel better or worse i don't know. :darn:
blackeyedAngel
10-21-2006, 01:55 AM
he's never been sexual with any other girl. orally or anything. trust me, i know for sure. i mean he's kissed another girl, but i'm the only one to come in contact with his willie. :\ but he masturbates like twice a day+. seriously. it doesn't really bother me cuz we live an hour and a half away from each other and i only see him like twice a month, but still, he needs to give the little guy a break!
Larkspur
10-21-2006, 04:27 AM
Maybe he's nervous, being that you're the only girl to touch him sexually. Even a little bit of apprehension about a certain act can ruin the whole effort. :darn:
And yeah, wackin' it 2x per day+ AND a real human lady who cares about him is trying to give him head? D: Sounds like he needs a reality check!
Livelivemydarling
10-21-2006, 05:23 AM
Holy shit, this thread makes me feel inadequate. Any type of fondling of my dick gets me ejaculating. It sucks.
Oh and I thought (percentage wise), oral got more girls orgasming than straight up vaginal intercourse. Is that true?
blackeyedAngel
10-21-2006, 11:05 AM
that could be. i mean, we've been involved in one way or another for almost 7 years, off and on, but maybe you're right, maybe he gets nervous.
oral definitely makes me orgasm more than sex. that is to say, i orgasm everytime he gives me oral (which kinda adds to the crapiness of not being able to do the same for him!) , but i only orgasm during sex every once in a while. :\
Larkspur
10-21-2006, 08:53 PM
I've had one "hands-free" orgasm during sex.
One.
Oral usually worked. I can't really have orgasms much anymore (that is, with my fiance---alone works...most of the time) because of some meds I have to take. :no:
Peter
10-22-2006, 12:45 PM
he's never been sexual with any other girl. orally or anything. trust me, i know for sure. i mean he's kissed another girl, but i'm the only one to come in contact with his willie. :\ but he masturbates like twice a day+. seriously. it doesn't really bother me cuz we live an hour and a half away from each other and i only see him like twice a month, but still, he needs to give the little guy a break!
I'm essentially like your boyfriend - no woman has ever made me orgasm through oral sex alone. It's not that I don't enjoy it, I do enjoy it a great deal. However, I'm either getting head from people who aren't good at it or I'm not sensitive enough for that. One question I had about your boyfriend...is he circumcised or not? It's just a curiousity/something to think about.
Also...if he's getting his rocks off twice a day (or even once a day), you can be sure that his horomones are never running very high. You should talk to him about the possibility of not masturbating/having sex for a day or two and THEN trying it. Letting things build up like that can be pretty helpful in getting the wee-wee ready for some action.
I feel like a dirty old man now :cry:
blackeyedAngel
10-22-2006, 01:13 PM
maybe he's like you, peter, he's not sensitive enough to orgasm that way. and even when i give him a handjob, that doesn't work either, so i think he just does it to himself so much that he can only get himself off or something. :oh:
yes, he is circumcised. i've actually never seen one that wasn't. :\ i see what you mean about his hormones not running very high cuz he masturbates so much...but then why is he so horny? i mean, when he's around me, he wants sex, and he masturbates every day. we have talked about him not masturbating for a few days before he sees me, and then trying it...i think we did, but i may not have given it my all that time. thanks for the advice!
Dave McDonald
10-22-2006, 02:31 PM
Your boyfriend sounds alot like me. I have to have a cum at least once a day, its like the best sleeping pill out there. When my gf gives me head I cum maybe 2/5 times, the others I just end up jerking off onto her tits or something like that. Sounds odd but it works, and I dont want her to feel inadequate, oral just doesnt cut it sometimes. Its kind of the same thing with her, when I give her oral she comes like 3/5 times. Sometimes it just takes too long and my tongue gets tired, then my arm starts to get sore shortly after that (she likes to be fingered while she gets her licks). I wouldnt worry about it too much blackeyed angel, just tell him to quit jeking off and enjoy you when he gets the chance.
blackeyedAngel
10-22-2006, 03:42 PM
(she likes to be fingered while she gets her licks).me too.
cool, i'm glad to hear i'm not the only one with this problem. i'm not worried about it, really. it's just frustrating cuz i could do it to other people, just not him, and he's the one i really want to please! :darn: the sad part is, even though i like doing that to him, it makes me not even want to because it's like, what's the point? it decreases my motivation i guess, and the pleasure that i get from doing it. which sucks for him cuz he likes getting head. :\
Static Split Screen
10-22-2006, 03:47 PM
Is he all that bothered by it though? It might bother you more than it does him.
blackeyedAngel
10-22-2006, 11:57 PM
it probably does bother me more. i mean, i'm sure he would like it if i could do the job, cuz when i start, he either has to finish himself, or we have to have sex. but i guess he's probably used to the idea that it's not going to happen.
Drunkenmaster
10-23-2006, 09:59 PM
Sounds like the problem is definitely with him and not you. I say you place a week-long moratorium on wanking before he sees you. Shit, twice a day? Not even when I was 14.
blackeyedAngel
10-24-2006, 12:27 AM
he really needs something better to do with his time. i told him tonight that he shouldn't do it for a week, but he said that would be very hard. he even said (jokingly, granted) that he must be addicted to it. maybe it's more of a habit than anything?? it's possible. i mean, he can't possibly be horny that much.
Kelly Kapowski
10-24-2006, 01:24 PM
well i wouldn't rule out that he's addicted. It happens and while he might not even realize it, it could be true.
penii.
just watch him masterbate, thats the best way to learn what exactly works for that person specifically... but if he's doing it that much his hand probably has a monster grip that you could never recreate...
Drunkenmaster
10-24-2006, 09:20 PM
that would be weird.
i guess it could be if youre uptight about that but if you do it together and yorue really comfortable with eachother it shouldnt be.
Drunkenmaster
10-24-2006, 09:29 PM
You busy Friday night?
blackeyedAngel
10-25-2006, 10:02 AM
his hand probably has a monster grip that you could never recreate...
i think you're right. he has really big hands. i have little wimpy ones.
Jackal
10-25-2006, 10:16 AM
Have you ever just asked questions about what he needs, while you are doing it? Or does he tell you any clues or anything. You sound like you know what you're doing. Man, this is making me so curious!
Maybe he just likes the fact that he's doing it to himself. Maybe he has to do weird things to get off that way, that he's too embarrassed to do in front of you.
ramblingrose
10-25-2006, 11:59 AM
just watch him masterbate, thats the best way to learn what exactly works for that person specifically...
good advice.
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