ATTN: MLB General Managers

[Drunkenmaster]

The Washington Nationals will be having a fire sale after the all-star break. Livan and his bloated ERA will probably be gone along with Soriano, Jose Vidro, and Tony Aramas Jr. Why God? Why? The National League is so crappy it seems that any team could make a run in the 2nd half. Remember the Astros last year?

[Drunkenmaster]

You can probably add Jose Guillen to that list, too.

[Kinbote]

But at least you'll still have Jim Bowden!

Ha. I'm really very sorry. Though if they can snag solid prospects, tossing some of those fellows is worthwhile. Livian's a solid innings-eater, but aging. Soriano's playing above himself, and against a weak league.

But, of course, it's Jim Bowden. So I forsee Nick Johnson and Ryan Zimmerman being traded to the Cubs for Phil Nevin, Dusty Baker, and a bucket of scuffed balls.

[Drunkenmaster]

Yeah, and I had to listen on ESPN radio today about how Bowden knows what he's doing and he's going to unload some big salaries. I can see that with Soriano and Liva, but Vidro and Guillen!?

[Drunkenmaster]

What do you think about Smoltz possibly going to Detroit and Abreu going to the Sox or Yanks?

[Kinbote]

I don't see any of those happening, really. Pitching (with, I admit, a hand from their stellar defense) is what's been winning games for Detroit all season: while I'm sure they'd be happy to welcome Smoltz aboard, I can't see them wanting to give up much for him. Abreu-to-New-York: the Yankees could certainly use him, but they don't have anything to trade for him: Phil Hughes is their only real prospect (that is, "prospect in the minds of non-Yankee-fans"), and Cashman's said repeatedly that he's untouchable. Abreu-to-Boston: doesn't make sense. Trot Nixon provides almost everything Abreu does, offensively, and for less money.

[Drunkenmaster]

Yeah, and Abreu hasn't been incredibly reliable. Plus, it's cool to have a guy named "Trot" on your team.

[Drunkenmaster]

But geez. What is going on in JoeLand?

Buzzmaster: Joe will be here momentarily so keep the questions coming!

Buzzmaster: Joe has been held up so let's chat amongst ourselves for a few minutes...What are your overall impressions of last night's Home Run Derby?
Brian (Pittsburgh): Buzz...you want me to leave my desk to go find Joe?? I'm willing to skip out on work for the good of the SN

Buzzmaster: See what you can do, Brian...

Steve: Speaking of Joe.. is he even coming?

Buzzmaster: Joe was pulled away at the last minute but we're efforting a makeup date for today's chat...

I'm guessing this is the deal:

Joe sometimes walks into a room for a chat, sees a computer, thinks it's there to harm him, gets out a Tony Perez-model bat he carries around at all times in a sheath on his back like a Samurai, and smashes it to bits. Then he slowly blinks back to consciousness, like Anthony Perkins in Psycho, sees what he's done, panics, sweeps up the room to perfection, drops the mangled CPU in a dumpster, resheaths his bat, sticks his hands in his pockets, and wanders out onto the street, whistling blithely and nodding amiably to fellow ambulators.

Here's my favorite exchange from the aborted chat:

shaundele56: Buzz stick around. You have much more knowledge of baseball than Joe does.

Buzzmaster: An obvious attempt to get posted...Thank for the props but there's no way I can touch Joe where baseball knowledge is concerend...I went to a World Series game once, even been to the Hall of Fame, but never actually played in the majors...I think Joe has a leg up there...

Even Buzz thinks you have to have Played the Game in order to Know Stuff About the Game. He's been hanging around Joe for too long.

Enjoy tomorrow: the worst day of the baseball season.

posted by Ken Tremendous # 2:20 AM no new comments

[Kinbote]

What really blows my mind is how a doofus like Tim McCarver, who seems to know as little about baseball as Joe Morgan, STILL has a job doing national fucking broadcasts, while someone excellent like Sean McDonough sits around twiddling his thumbs.

[Drunkenmaster]

I like McDonough. Do you think anyone will mess with Maddux and if so will he end up a middle reliever? Milwaukee, maybe? I also just read that a deal for Soriano moving to the Angels for some top prospects is pretty much out of the question. Apparenlty Bill Stoneman is a pretty shrewd guy. DAMMIT!!

[Drunkenmaster]

Why does this comment by Bowden about today's trade give me not much confidence:

"This trade was not made for today or tomorrow," Bowden said. "It was made for the long run. The pieces don't fit perfectly in trying to improve [the 2006 Nationals]. The goal is to build a team in the long run that's going to win for a long time. We feel this deal helps us in that direction."

I don't have much of a problem with the trade but why not try and take advantage of a very average national league and try and put together a team that can make a run at the playoffs in the 2nd half of the season?

[The Chuck]

That Abreu to the Yanks deal seems to be heating up, and I'm not too happy with it. The Yankees need pitching, which will sustain them until Sheffield and Matsui come back. They just picked up fat ass Sidney Ponson off waivers, which isn't gonna be the solution. Carl Pavano should be hung, he's been a fucking colosal waste. I dunno, maybe Smoltz.

[Drunkenmaster]

Under no circumstance do I see Smoltz leaving Atlanta to go to the Yankees.

[DrHibbert]

Usually classy, well-liked guys don't go to the Yankees. Just the nutcases and assholes.

[Kinbote]

Who the fuck would the Yankees trade for Abreu? Hughes is allegedly off-limits, and they've got nobody else on the farm with any chance of becoming an impact player. Plus, now that Cashman (allegedly) has absolute control, I'd expect them to be moving away from ransacking the larder in exchange for big-money veterans entering their declining years. Of course, he signed Damon, so yeah.

[Kinbote]

If dealing with the Phillies, I wouldn't mind seeing the Sox go after Tom Gordon: what a fucking MESS tonight from Tavarez and Lopez. As usual (and Saenz is awful, too). I'd be even angrier had Beckett not fucked us up beyond hope already.

PS, Beckett: what the fuck's wrong with him?

[Drunkenmaster]

He started out looking like he was going to be a Cy Young winner and now he's just getting roughed up almost every outting. I have no answer.

[Kinbote]

A number of people have said he's "tipping his pitches," but as I understand it that's Old Baseball Person (Joe, Tim, etc.) for, "He's been good and now he's not so good and I don't know why."

[Kinbote]

I mean, even adjusting for the difference between the leagues, he's sucked.

[Drunkenmaster]

Meaning that he's giving it away with his arm/body movement?

[The Chuck]

Meaning that he's giving it away with his arm/body movement?

He's forty something already, and he's a power picher. Glavine and Maddux are location guys, so they'll last longer.

[Kinbote]

Meaning that he's giving it away with his arm/body movement?

Yeah, I believe that's what it's supposed to mean. But it seems to be the standard answer of the "experts" when they don't know.

[Kinbote]

And awful as Beckett's been, he's been LUCKY: his FIP, prior to tonight's debacle, was 5.65.

He's giving up, too, about twice as many home runs as he has in the past.

[Drunkenmaster]

True. Anyway, what do you think of the Nat's trade today?

[Kinbote]

I approve wholeheartedly. Really, I can't understand it from the Cincy perspective, at ALL. Good thing the Reds don't have any fans, or they'd be ornery as FUCK.

[Drunkenmaster]

Yeah. I'm gonna go next week and check out Kearns at a Zephyr game.

[Drunkenmaster]

I'd like to see some moves that possibly make the Nat's a better team this year but I guess that's not what they're going for. Patterson's on the 15 day DL now and Livan will probably be traded so I'm not sure who there going to put in the rotation. I don't think Ramon Ortiz is starting material at this point.

[Kinbote]

Well, do you want to see them kind of do well this year, or do you want to see them start, two years from now, contending constantly?

Of course, this deal aside, with Bowden at the helm, you may be looking at a forever of Baltimore-y mediocrity.

[Drunkenmaster]

Of course I want long-term success but I don't have the faith in Bowden. If the NL starts getting better over the next few years they'll never make the playoffs.

[Kinbote]

I want Paul DePodesta to get another chance somewhere. I say "another chance," but I don't suppose one can really call what he had in LA a "chance." Half of one at best.

[Drunkenmaster]

Never heard of him.

[Kinbote]

!!!

Paul DePodesta, the ex-Billy Beane assistant, and ex-Dodgers GM? He was run out of town in LA by the local newspaper hacks because, god forbid, he used statistics to make player moves and never played pro ball himself. Brilliant guy, though, I think.

[Drunkenmaster]

He has nerve to work in baseball having never played. That's why we need more Joe Morgan's in baseball. I don't see why these reporter thugs would have a problem with him using statistics to evaluate players.

[Kinbote]

There was one LA fellow - their Big Famous Sportswriter guy, forget his name, but a local institution - who spat so much venom toward DePo that you'd have thought he was boning his wife or something.

Have you read Moneyball? You should - it's a fascinating book.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393324818/sr=8-1/qid=1152934629/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-0284489-5254361?ie=UTF8

Paul DePodesta's a swell secondary character in it!

[Drunkenmaster]

I've heard of it but not read it. I may try and pick it up at the BAM this weekend.

[Kinbote]

You ought to! It's the best behind-the-scenes baseball thingee I've ever seen. Makes one want to be a GM. Also, Billy Beane's just fucking cool.

[Drunkenmaster]

I wish Keith Olberman would write a baseball book.

[Drunkenmaster]

If Bowden can pull off the Soriano trade to Detroit for Sanchez, Jurrjens, and Clevlen I'm going to be feeling pretty good about the Nats future!

[Kinbote]

Don't get too happy: the sheer number of moves Bowden makes means that some, statistically, must be shrewd.

[Drunkenmaster]

Always there to piss in my milkshake :cry:

[Kinbote]

Just saying. I'm pretty sure that one year the Reds were good under him was a good luck collision of circumstances.

As a Sox fan, I'm DAMNED lucky Lucchino lost last winter's power struggle: his GM favorites were your Bowden, and Jim Beattie.

[Drunkenmaster]

So why sign Beckett to a 3-year extension already?

[DrHibbert]

Beckett was fantastic today. 4-hits, 0ER in 8 innings. Hopefully he's coming around.

[Drunkenmaster]

ahem...today.

[DrHibbert]

PS my Mariners got robbed yesterday. Jorge was totally out at first.

[Drunkenmaster]

I heard about that but didn't see it. Apparently the evidence was strongly in your favor.

[DrHibbert]

Not even evidence, man. It wasn't close. The game should've been delayed long before any of that happened, though. Putz wouldn't have been throwing so wildly and Lopez wouldn't have bobbled the grounder. Awful umpiring.

[Drunkenmaster]

But you got them back today.

[DrHibbert]

Yeah. I'm losing hope, though. 5 games out of first, and they keep losing close games. I guess I can't complain, we'd be like 18 games out of first in some divisions...

[Kinbote]

So why sign Beckett to a 3-year extension already?

Because his poor performace this year varies enough from his career norms that, even accounting for the difference between leagues, it's pretty safe to assume - as safe as it ever is with a pitcher - that he's going to be good; moreover, given his stuff, he's got the potential.

Plus, this takes us through his arbitration years. Assuming he hits his ace stride, or something like it, 10 mil could be a bargain salary.

[Drunkenmaster]

But why not trade him to the Nats for Soriano is the question?

[Kinbote]

Because we already have a left fielder who can't field? And the one we have already can hit?

[DrHibbert]

They could put him at 2nd and make Papelbon a sp... I think Soriano would do a lot for the sox lineup.

[Drunkenmaster]

But you've got to get Sori while he's hot. Somebody does, please!! Especially if the Mariners are dumb enough to part with Adam Jones or whatever that CF's name is.

[Kinbote]

They could put him at 2nd and make Papelbon a sp... I think Soriano would do a lot for the sox lineup.

He's a defensive liability, and don't forget his Texas years: .324 OBP in '04, .309 in '05. And most of that from his BA. AND in the league's best offensive park. He has right now the advantage of playing against a less good league, and against pitchers unfamiliar with him. Bowden's set up nicely to fleece someone dumb again.

I do like Paps as a starter, but next year. Given the state of the bullpen...well, he's needed there. Badly. I cringe every time anybody other than him comes out.

[XenonDreams]

Because we already have a left fielder who can't field?

See, Manny is not a great outfielder to be sure, but I think his fielding isn't nearly as bad as it's usually made out to be. He often seems to have more trouble with a lot catches than he should, but he generally gets the job done, no matter how goofy it looks. I almost suspect that some of his antics are deliberate, not too the point that he drops balls, but in that he sort of plays lazily so guys will underestimate him. Now granted, anybody with an arm as good as his and a giant, shallow wall behind him would rack up a few assists in a season, but I think because Manny's sort of assumed to be a bad a fielder, a lot of guys go for home on him when they otherwise wouldn't only to find Varitek waiting with the ball when they get there.

Dunno if it's true, but I did hear once that Manny deliberately swings and misses occasionally so pitchers will throw him the same pitch later in the game and he would know it was coming, and I've since wondered if he's just as devious with his fielding. Manny not bright enough for that kinda thing? Or is the whole 'Manny being Manny' routine is just part of the whole charade?

(this theory is not to be take too seriously)

[Kinbote]

I don't know, according to UZR calculations, Manny's defense costs the Sox around twenty runs over the course of a season.

[XenonDreams]

I think Soriano would do a lot for the sox lineup.

Yeah but the lineup is the one thing that doesn't need any help this year. Coco and Varitek are the only guys who haven't been hitting up to par this year, and the defense has been uniformly superb. The bullpen could obviously use somebody but getting middle relief is a crap shoot, and Delcarmen and Hansen might just be able to be the bridge to Timlin and Papelbon.

I think the only mov e that could make a difference is getting a good 4th/5th starter. Schilling has been great, we're stuck with Beckett for better or worse, Lester is looking more and more like the real deal and then....well Wakefield has been good, but he's got injury problems now too. I feel more and more like Clement is a lost cause even if he does get healthy. Who knows with Wells. Even if his knees don't give out, his heart just might, but he's still got a great arm, allegedly. The man did once pitch a perfect game drunk. Or half drunk, or the story was completely made up, point is he's an arrogant old fat-fuck and that makes him a winner in my book.

[DrHibbert]

I'd love to see them get a speedy leadoff guy. Youkilis is good, but should be batting 2nd.

[Kinbote]

Really? I think speed is overrated in the leadoff spot. I'd rather a guy like Youks who makes the pitcher throw a lot - wear the fucker down, get to the bullpen that much sooner, wear them down...an advantage by game three of a series. Not to mention that he gets on base a lot. I'd like:

1. Youks
2. Nixon
3. Ramirez
4. Ortiz
5. Lowell
6. Crisp
7. Varitek
8. Loretta
9. Gonzalez

Actually, what I'd really like is Loretta gone - miraculously traded for a useful pitcher, ideally - and replaced by Dustin Pedroia. I guess there's always next year.

[The Chuck]

I think he would fit in well in Boston. I could only assume they'd play him in right, because Loretta is superior defensively. I'm sure at some point they'd move him over to left. Asside from playing the occasional fly off of the monster, playing left field over there is something he could handle. If I'm not mistaken he's leading the NL in assists, which doesn't necesarily indicate that he's a gold glover, but he is holding his own.

[Drunkenmaster]

Just so everyone knows, I was joking about Soriano being traded to Boston.

[Drunkenmaster]

Is Wickmann really worth $5 mill? I know the braves have had their problems closing out games, but the guy's giving up about a hit per inning and his location hasn't been very good. Of course, he's moving from the AL to the NL.

[Drunkenmaster]

No one answered my question!

[Kinbote]

Bob Wickman? Five million? You just assume a question like that is rhetorical.

[Drunkenmaster]

Why won't someone give me five mill?

[Drunkenmaster]

Soriano to the White Sox? I don't see that working between him and Guillen. Soriano's kinda half assed in that he doesn't run out ground balls and doesn't slide when he needs to. Also, the move to the Sox would keep him in LF which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I know they want him for his bat but he could cost you just as easily as help you.

[Drunkenmaster]

Apparently there's some discrepancy to the White Sox rumor and Bowden is still shopping Soriano around.