How are you at writing lyrics?

[Osceana]

Purpella
----------------
go away
go home
tonight you have to sleep alone
cover your bed with dreams of me
i know i hurt your feelings, but we were only temporary

i’m sorry....

you’re so fucking empty
so now i sleep on your floor when i’m dreaming
while you replace me with the snow inside my body

i’m sorry....

you love to love what you can’t have
i don’t give a fuck if it makes me sad
just stay with me for one more night
you know every time i bleed, but that’s all right

i’m sorry....

you are my “just because”
you’re the lover i don’t have to keep
i am the ice and you’re so easy

i’m sorry, but this is how i feel
i’m made of blood
my pain is fucking real
but you don’t care
so tonight i walk down the staircase alone
this time is the last time, but tomorrow night, can i come over?

you’re so fucking empty
so now i sleep inside the snow inside me
i really wanna see you
the sex is good, but i can’t feel you

so this is how things are now
so this is how you cut out my feelings
so this is how things are now
so this is why you don’t care about me anymore

I really wanna see you....
_____________________________

These are probably the single most honest lyrics i've ever written. My lyrics are usually a little more complex and ambiguous than this. I've been trying to not dress up my words so much (at least in my music) though because i feel like there's just no substitution for pure, raw emotion. Tear it apart all you like, criticize, dissect it, make fun of it, whatever you like.... (don't bother saying it's angsty, i am *well* aware of that- that's kind of the point though)

Post some lyrics of your own too. It'll be fun!

[PLEASE DON'T STEP ON ME]

It does seem quite emotional and raw. I like.

It reminds me though, do you have any of your songs available anywhere to listen to at the moment? I remember a few months ago you had some songs on a website, but the sound quality wasn't that great...

[Cool As Ice Cream]

i don't like those lyrics.

and you stole a lot of bc. are you aware of that?

[Trickster]

I find it pretty difficult writing lyrics. Sometimes I don't really know if I have any sort of message to put across so it makes it difficult. This example is about how I think of the perfect girl as being a little, well... strange. Even though I'm aware that it's a little self-destructive.

Anyway, let me know what you think and you can hear the actual song at www.myspace.com/covertcamel.



Twisted Girl
---------------

And when you looked and saw my breath on your window paine,
I thought that you would scream and run away, but you stayed.
Now I know that you're something else.

Waking up the wrong side of the floor,
Knowing that I only want her more.

Something is being done to me, before my own two eyes,
But unlike little dark-eyed Donna, they do not blink.
Now I know that she's something else.

Waking up the wrong side of the floor,
Knowing that I only want her more.

Every man defeats himself from the inside,
When a part of him turns against the rest.

[Osceana]

Originally posted by Insert Postcode Here
It does seem quite emotional and raw. I like.

It reminds me though, do you have any of your songs available anywhere to listen to at the moment? I remember a few months ago you had some songs on a website, but the sound quality wasn't that great...

Thank you. No, at the time i don't have any better-quality recordings. I'm actually in the process of re-recording a bunch of stuff. I've written a lot of new material (like this song) and re-written others, so i will have new stuff next week. I'll definitely post the link my Myspace when it's done though; i value Blamo's opinions.

[Osceana]

Originally posted by Cool As Ice Cream
i don't like those lyrics.

and you stole a lot of bc. are you aware of that?

Well, they're honest. I definitely didn't lift them from any source other than myself. When i go back and read them though there are two lines that do kind of strike me as very Pumpkin-y, but that's it. But when i was writing them the only thing i was thinking about at the time was an apartment building a block south of where i live, and all the things i have to remember, and forget.

[Osceana]

Originally posted by Richard Fish
Twisted Girl
---------------

And when you looked and saw my breath on your window paine,
I thought that you would scream and run away, but you stayed.
Now I know that you're something else.

Waking up the wrong side of the floor,
Knowing that I only want her more.

Something is being done to me, before my own two eyes,
But unlike little dark-eyed Donna, they do not blink.
Now I know that she's something else.

Waking up the wrong side of the floor,
Knowing that I only want her more.

Every man defeats himself from the inside,
When a part of him turns against the rest.

These lyrics are very angular, and intriguing. I'd be interested to hear them in a musical context. Reading lyrics without the music is so weird sometimes. I remember Thom Yorke saying that lyrics without music were just bad poetry. I don't know if i agree with that though.

[Trickster]

well, thanks. i think.

anyway i try to stray away from the standard love/hate type lyrics if i write about relationships at all, and otherwise i just tend to write about random ideas.

as i said in my first post, you can hear the actual song at www.myspace.com/covertcamel :-p - there's your musical context!

[Cool As Ice Cream]

Originally posted by Osceana
I definitely didn't lift them from any source other than myself. Your brains must be soaked with SP lyrics then. When it comes to words and images, you're both fishing from the same pond.

[Static Split Screen]

I keep my lyric writing to rap-spoofs. I'm sure if I made an honest effort they'd be horrible.

[homer j. simpson]

i don't really know how good i am at writing lyrics, per se, i just...write. and then i work on recording!

i don't often write chorus lines, because i don't really like them that much.

so this is the song i'm most likely going to record today.

Death Of the Sun:
-----------------

I was floating high through the air
Your city lights pulled me under
I got lost inside their shining faces
They showed me beautiful places.

They took me to your door
I felt you tap my shoulder
I took the bait and turned around
You pushed me underground.

I saw the death of the sun;
That light was meant for someone
Who breathed their share of your dark air
And it took them to the moon.

Now I need some degree of closure
Enough to cause an implosion
Where my cells will pull together
Into the center of my body, where you are
And that's when you'll explode.

I'll return to my body
And watch my hair and bones regrow.

[homer j. simpson]

Originally posted by Static Split Screen
I keep my lyric writing to rap-spoofs. I'm sure if I made an honest effort they'd be horrible.

you are surprisingly good at writing rap lyrics. :heart:

[Jackal]

I like Suckerlove's the best.

[TheImplodingVoice]

Every single lyric you've showed me Naj, has been great

[Atomsk Iscariot]

The songs I write in my spare time are ridiculously simple and thus invite ridiculously bad lyrics. They also tend to be mere caricatures of these lyrics (http://www.hipmuseum.com/dfnlb.html)... I simply admire Gordon Downie's ability to marry music and poetry too much to not imitate him poorly. Ah well.

[Kinbote]

I tend to dislike song lyrics: those I consider good are merely those at which I don't cringe. At best they simply sound good and amplify the mood of the music - little more. A solid majority are in the aforementioned cringe category. However, I've found myself of late rather enamored of Scott Miller's.

His Game Theory's fine "Chardonnay":

I was feeling the weight of the atmosphere
And those I know aren't looking overjoyed I'm here
Daughters about fourteen order wine
And Chardonnay shows what she knows when she decides
Couldn't tell you now what clicked inside
Or why that's what I call her
Hardly floored but still reminded
That I once could want it all
I don't know any that age who've died of greed
And so was I once letting be and letting bleed
I believe David Carradine changed a lot
Eastern wisdom Kunging Fu on western thought
But was always missing that same spot
Or knew but wouldn't say
A lot of life's best things are
Farther than a zen proverb away

Hey Chardonnay, Chardonnay, oh Chardonnay
Hey Chardonnay, Chardonnay, oh Chardonnay
They can always put you down some way
But I can't see you being saved for one more rainy day

It was easy to think at the U canteen
Drunk and small-time, finishing the quarter mean
That a lot of the structure would have to fall
Haves and have-nots polarized at facing walls
I don't think I believed it all
But needed just the same
A way to deal with being shut out
Of the decent peoples' game

Hey Chardonnay, Chardonnay, oh Chardonnay
Hey Chardonnay, Chardonnay, oh Chardonnay
They can always put you down some way
But I can't see you being saved for one more rainy day

Well it's harder each night, gonna take a miracle
Gonna take Ernst Dali and di Chirico
Gonna recharge cranio-mechanical
Turning me right back into an animal

Hey Chardonnay, Chardonnay, oh Chardonnay
Hey Chardonnay, Chardonnay, oh Chardonnay

[Osceana]

Originally posted by SuckerLove
i don't really know how good i am at writing lyrics, per se, i just...write. and then i work on recording!

i don't often write chorus lines, because i don't really like them that much.

so this is the song i'm most likely going to record today.

Death Of the Sun:
-----------------

I was floating high through the air
Your city lights pulled me under
I got lost inside their shining faces
They showed me beautiful places.

They took me to your door
I felt you tap my shoulder
I took the bait and turned around
You pushed me underground.

I saw the death of the sun;
That light was meant for someone
Who breathed their share of your dark air
And it took them to the moon.

Now I need some degree of closure
Enough to cause an implosion
Where my cells will pull together
Into the center of my body, where you are
And that's when you'll explode.

I'll return to my body
And watch my hair and bones regrow.

These are very good lyrics. I do like them a lot.

[Static Split Screen]

Originally posted by SuckerLove
you are surprisingly good at writing rap lyrics. :heart:

Hella.

Did you find that cable yet?

[Kill the Poor]

She packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m.
And I’m gonna be high as a kite by then
I miss the earth so much I miss my wife
It’s lonely out in space
On such a timeless flight

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I’m a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it’s cold as hell
And there’s no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science I don’t understand
It’s just my job five days a week
A rocket man, a rocket man

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time

[Narcissistic Nihilist]

Ive always found writing lyrics a piece of piss.

[homer j. simpson]

Originally posted by Narcissistic Nihilist
Ive always found writing lyrics a piece of piss.

well lyrics are (generally speaking, of course) somewhat necessary to the songwriting/recording process. thus, writing them and expressing yourself however you see fit also becomes necessary.

[Trickster]

He means he finds it easy.

[homer j. simpson]

Originally posted by Richard Fish
He means he finds it easy.

oh, i see. weird, i've always heard that term used in a more negative sense and meaning "stupid" or something.

[Static Split Screen]

and 'taking the piss' means that your joking.

[Trickster]

and "pissed" means drunk, not annoyed.

[Squirrel]

It was really annoying... I went through a little phase when I was like 21-ish, for about 6 months where I could write song lyrics that I really liked, and I wrote a ton of them and then all of a sudden almost overnight, I was rubbish again and have remained so ever since. Bugger.

[homer j. simpson]

Originally posted by Squirrel
It was really annoying... I went through a little phase when I was like 21-ish, for about 6 months where I could write song lyrics that I really liked, and I wrote a ton of them and then all of a sudden almost overnight, I was rubbish again and have remained so ever since. Bugger.

i'm sorry. the same thing happened to me, only my rubbish period lasted two years and then i picked up a pen and found that i could write decently again. it was a good feeling!

[Static Split Screen]

That's like how I am with writing stories. I had a period where I found it easy, and now I can't write at all. It makes me sad.

[homer j. simpson]

Originally posted by Static Split Screen
That's like how I am with writing stories. I had a period where I found it easy, and now I can't write at all. It makes me sad.

keep trying, my dear! your talent will come back and smack you in the face when you're least expecting it.

[Static Split Screen]

I need a plot first. A plot that doesn't suck.

[Squirrel]

Originally posted by SuckerLove
i'm sorry. the same thing happened to me, only my rubbish period lasted two years and then i picked up a pen and found that i could write decently again. it was a good feeling!

I'm pretty sure by now that I was always bad at it, but I was just being full of myself for a little while. I am not really a musical person. :(

[homer j. simpson]

Originally posted by Squirrel
I'm pretty sure by now that I was always bad at it, but I was just being full of myself for a little while. I am not really a musical person. :(

well you're an awesome artist etc so that's okay!

[Narcissistic Nihilist]

Originally posted by SuckerLove
oh, i see. weird, i've always heard that term used in a more negative sense and meaning "stupid" or something.
Yeah, sorry. Damn my Limey colloquiallisms.

[Barbara]

Where you going, young lady?
It's a chilly country winter.
We'll drink to her, and remember
For one night every November.

There was always another dirt road,
And another hour to waste.
We listened to rock and blues.
We talked about the national news.

Where you going, young lady?
It's a cold night to be out alone.
She had her whiskey for company.
She didn't try to tell you or me.

Miles of gravel and wilderness to search,
Faster and faster, lets make it work.
She made a bed, and sank into sleep.
And the fishes kissed her cold feet.

Where you going, young lady?
It's a chilly country winter.
We'll drink to her, and remember.

[Static Split Screen]

Your lyrics remind me of Tori Amos's for some reason. Which is good; I love her lyrics.