I Think It's Great

[HappyBDayMom]

PS...who's gonna be something really great for Halloween??? I may be the tooth fairy.

[sombre winds]

I gave up finnegan's wake long ago.

[static bobmatic]

Originally posted by HappyBDayMom
most of you probably didn't know Elliott and may be basing your assessment of his life and character on remarks made in obituaries, at memorials &tc.

i've never really assessed his life or character but it would be nice to hear a story about how you once beat elliott smith in a marathon Connect Four session played out in your living room or however your tale may go.

[HappyBDayMom]

i never play connect four.
i consider it unseemly.
i like those chinese finger traps a lot, however.

i was simply referring to that principle whose name is often called nil nisi bonum or De gustibus non est disputandum or let's fuck around on the biography channel. Which proves by osmosis that the end of a dead person's life is always: "to die" (infinitive.) And latterly that James Joyce is my great-aunt and -uncle of Louisiana, and that's a creepin' Jesus. From which are brewed all sorts of miscalculations, such as calling the dead "well-intentioned." Or "sad." The poor folks simply follow the dictates of nature AND nurture. Like, simultaneously or something. These are cardinal ordinates. What dead people hate is repeated death-stagings, as if their own were a mere dress rehearsal and the big night yet to come. Also--but here I may be wrong--candle light vigils. (Hokey.) Sex is by-and-large remembered fondly. Too fondly, Linda Blair might argue.

Of course we sophisticated folk of the regressional-confessional contemporaneity do regularly dispute with the dead, and this annoys them, as one version of their personal purgatorio may well include endless summations of All-(Count 'Em)-All their reviews. Which leads eventually (by way of collective prank-call) to chronic imposterism. Then they become jealous of the living. Many of them find this quite humorous, as it turns out.

I do apologize if i've confuddled you. i often use the internet for mental excorcisms and creative C-sectioning, or just remind-a-thons in general if you follow me, Mr. Patton. as contrasted with a more dietarily regular conversationism. i hope to produce a children's book soon, if that's any consolation.

mourning becomes electra, but sati always plays melanie wilkes

jury's out on saki

[static bobmatic]

i thought what dead people hated was if you buried them in the ground and then later on they knocked down the old church and built a big shopping centre and modern spangly cinema on top of the graveyard.

[HappyBDayMom]

that's what Annoys them.

Eventually they become resigned.

They have to.

Because it's easy.

It's so amusing laughing at the stoopid living.

In this day and age I hypothesize that the dead are proner to hate the removal of their heritage collections from the global Smithsonian, and likewise the removal of their effects (read: bling) from their bodies as soon as the rites and services are over. Pay attention: They want to take those things with them.

Also (if one plans on burying said dead)they seem to believe that their graveclothes are frequently similar to hospital gowns, or to Wild West saloon facades. Not having been dead myself, I can neither confirm nor deny. What is certain is that they are often costumed by their thankless children and made up by a 73-year-old named Wendy.

Furthermore they respectfully submit that IF one works at a crematorium THEN it would be meet to choppitty chop on over with the crematin'.

[static bobmatic]

well dead people annoy back. they're always using their disembodied essences to make the trees tap against my window when i'm in bed, to make doors slam shut and then keeping me awake all night going ooOOOooOOh!

[jeff]

dead people just need to shut up.