no bullshit, me gots cancer?

[L'egoMan]

Ok, hopefully this story, which is yet to have an ending, will turn into an awefull piss at people having cancer.

Today, whilst showering after comming home from my summer job, I noticed to my horror a hard lump right under my penis head, to the left of the 'skin-string'. (Did I just invent a new word for that particular place in our anatomy?) I am going to wait a couple of days and hope the lump will disapear; it could be the result of jacking off to hard and too many times. If it does not disapear untill the end of this week, I think I have to go to the doctor for the second time in my life. Last time I was suicidal, this time I am afraid to die.
Oh, the irony.

[Fab]

I had a spot on the underside of my penis once, it was so bizzare. I've got my fingers crossed for you sir. I don't imagine it will be cancer, the way you describe it makes it sound like if it is then it'll be a kind of skin cancer, and that's a very unusual place to get skin cancer tumors (my mum works in a cancer hospital).

[Divine]

lets all watch "hedwig and the angry inch" - :no: this sucks, if it does come out bad. do people really jack off that hard? jeez, maybe you should turn it down a notch :O

[Barbara]

weeird...does it hurt to touch? If so, it's probably a little blister from...eh, friction :D if not, I'm not sure... I've never heard of cancer on the dickhead. But I guess anything is possible... a few times I've had hard lumps under my arms, I was scared it was breast cancer because the lumps can form under your arms instead of on your actual breasts...but instead it was just clogged glands, my mom's home remedy for them worked wonders. Take a washcloth and soak it in hot water, hold the heated washcloth on the lump. If it's a "clog" then the heat should help melt it and make it go away. But because of where yours is, I would go to a doctor definitely just to rule out the possibility of STDs or anything like that. I think syphillis starts out as a lump or a blister-like thing on the genitals, it's been a while since sex ed classes though so I can't remember, but get it checked by a doctor right away just because if it is something serious, you'll want to get it treated right away before someting bad happens to your dick :O

[Daysleeper]

Yeah, you should get any lumo down there that just appears checked out...you can never be too sure what it is...lets hope it isn't cancer.

BTW...I call it the banjo string!

[sleepy sinner]

Barbara's definately right about getting yourself checked out for STDS. There should be a free confidential clinic near you somewhere. It could be a syphilis chancre or even a genital wart, more likely than cancer anyway (if that's reassuring :p!!). Or it could be just a really weird random pimple or an ingrown hair (there are fine hairs all over the skin I think basically). The point is you never know unless you get it checked out.

[L'egoMan]

Originally posted by Barbara
But because of where yours is, I would go to a doctor definitely just to rule out the possibility of STDs or anything like that. I think syphillis starts out as a lump or a blister-like thing on the genitals, it's been a while since sex ed classes though so I can't remember, but get it checked by a doctor right away just because if it is something serious, you'll want to get it treated right away before someting bad happens to your dick :O

Although I would have liked to, I have not had sex with anyone except my ex. She most definitly has not had sex with anyone else while we had sex. Therefor it is not a STD...no worries there,

but for the cancer theory...the lump is under the skin, and does not hurt or itch... wouldn't it be so bizarre if it is cancer and they have to chop the little thing off! It would be so painfull for me to lose such a valued piece of flesh that I would just have to take it with a smile.

[Barbara]

Originally posted by Legogirl
Although I would have liked to, I have not had sex with anyone except my ex. She most definitly has not had sex with anyone else while we had sex. Therefor it is not a STD...no worries there,


check anyway hon. If you think she'll pitch a fit because you're checking, don't tell her. I mean I'm not saying don't trust her...just be careful, and find out for certain. Only a doctor can tell you for sure. Don't take offense but I'm sure there are plenty of people who thought their partner would never give them an STD that ended up with one. Not saying that will happen to you, but just MAKE SURE, by having a doctor test and give you certain answers.

[Herr Lipp]

you have a lot of glands in the skin underneath the head of your cock. (search google for "pearly penile papules" if you dont believe me).

I think its something to do with that man. Im guessing your under 25, thats really very young to get cancer, I know its not impossible but you're probably healthy and stuff man.

Oh well, this isn;t false at all, I hope you're okay. If not dont feel too bad, you'll get through it.

[Fab]

Originally posted by Walter Sopchak
I think its something to do with that man. Im guessing your under 25, thats really very young to get cancer, I know its not impossible but you're probably healthy and stuff man. you're more suseptible to different types of cancer at different ages, eg, you're most likely to get testicular cancer in your late teens/early twenties.

[Jackal]

If a health question involves either of these two words "cancer" or "penis" please go to the doctor.

If it is cancer, the earlier the better.

[Herr Lipp]

Originally posted by Fab
you're more suseptible to different types of cancer at different ages, eg, you're most likely to get testicular cancer in your late teens/early twenties.

my point being that statistically you are less likely to get cancer as a youngster.

theres a geezer who might have the big C here, man, dont fucking make him paranoid.

[blackeyedAngel]

i knew someone that had a similar place on his member...the doctor said it was probably from masturbating so much. =/ kinda like you said.

[Herr Lipp]

Id hate to talk about wanking to the doctor :( Ive dropped my pants once, but that seems worse.

[Divine]

my best friend that i grew up with in orlando all my life died right before i moved back here. he had cancer for 7 years. i was so sad. :(

rip: tommy arnold :( i :heart: you!

[Divine]

he had leukemia though..

[L'egoMan]

Originally posted by Walter Sopchak
you have a lot of glands in the skin underneath the head of your cock. (search google for "pearly penile papules" if you dont believe me).

I think its something to do with that man. Im guessing your under 25, thats really very young to get cancer, I know its not impossible but you're probably healthy and stuff man.

Oh well, this isn;t false at all, I hope you're okay. If not dont feel too bad, you'll get through it.

Pearly penil papules! The word 'pearly' is the right word to describe the texture of the lump! I am full of hope now!

[Kelly Kapowski]

if they cut your penis off, i'd still love you.

[Divine]

buy one of those penis molding kits! send me a copy before this all goes down :(

[L'egoMan]

I guess it would be cheaper to make one that's flacid...

[Divine]

no... :(

[Rael]

Originally posted by blackeyedAngel
i knew someone that had a similar place on his member...the doctor said it was probably from masturbating so much. =/ kinda like you said.

yeah.

or from humping your mattress in your sleep.

But i hope you are ok. the skin down there is extra sesitive but you should go to the doctor anyway.

[L'egoMan]

Thanks for the advice and help blamonites! I am now going to bed so my body can heal itself! I am kind of dissapointed that now asked for pictures, but I will post some anyway, tomorrow.

General board people are so nice :D Thank you!

PS, maybe I should wait and see how this turns out before I change my nick back into Legoman...

[firecrasher]

you could always check out some medical or std sites that have photos and see if anything looks similar. i think willy worries (http://www.willyworries.com/) is just std-related, but they had pictures galore :scared:

[Depechekin]

Cancer isn't good. Hopefully it's just a bump that will go away, or an STD that can be cured with a shot of penicillin, which is "nature's condom".

..and please don't post pictures of it :D

[Divine]

Originally posted by Depechekin
..and please don't post pictures of it :D

shhh, don't say anything doofus!

[Static Split Screen]

I'm sure you're fine, just get it checked out.

[Kinbote]

I have a mole on my left arm that I keep thinking I ought to get looked at, but it's been odd for a couple of years, so if it's cancerous it's sure taking its goddamned time.

[Herr Lipp]

Im interested in seeing pictures of this growth :)

I bet its just a gland problem though man.

[Divine]

:( we must fix the problem. in order to do so, we need a visual on the suspect.

[Drunkenmaster]

It may be a calcium deposit or something like that. Beware if the doctor asks you to show him your "whacking tecnique."

[Divine]

mine is really red today :O i haven't masturbated it a while

[Mr. Felix]

omg I hope you are okay! i would just die if you had to get your willywang dicked off!
(btw i have named your penis Studs Terkel)
i will keep you and Studs Terkel close to heart, and as soon as you are better, in my mouth!:)

[Divine]

:O sounds like fun!

[Drunkenmaster]

Originally posted by Brazil
omg I hope you are okay! i would just die if you had to get your willywang dicked off!
(btw i have named your penis Studs Terkel)
i will keep you and Studs Terkel close to heart, and as soon as you are better, in my mouth!:) Ugh, vomit!!:erm

[Divine]

chill, it's natural.

[Mr. Felix]

Originally posted by danno
:( we must fix the problem. in order to do so, we need a visual on the suspect.

yes yes, quite quite! we very well must see the subject to fully understNAD it!

[Divine]

cheesy, very cheesy.

[Mr. Felix]

what do you think i was goingg for? NAD

[Liam-M]

any news?

[L'egoMan]

the lump remains...

however it has moved a couple of milimeters...!

[Barbarian Love Elephant]

legogirl, i do not really like you but i must say that's gross and i hope you do get well :( penis transplant?

[L'egoMan]

you don't like me? :(

[Barbarian Love Elephant]

I've always found you to be annoying

[L'egoMan]

oh ..

[Liam-M]

poor legogirl... are you going to change your name back now to legoman? or is there still a few days/weeks left?

[Herr Lipp]

Have you made an appointment with the doctor yet? You better have, bitch!

I gotta go to the doctor next week. Got problems with my digestive system. sucks. but doesnt suck as much as a phallic-growth.

[Barbarian Love Elephant]

How much do docs cost in your respective areas? and is the prescription included in the price?

[Herr Lipp]

Doctors are free here, ho ho ho.

And prescriptions Im not too sure about (only got one since turned 18 and had to pay 4 'em) but I think theyre about £4 - £6. probably depends on the drug.

although, if you wanna take the risk, you can tick a box on the back of your prescription that says youre on income support and itll be free. stick that in your pipe and smoke it you low tax paying irish mofo's.

[L'egoMan]

Originally posted by Liam-M
poor legogirl... are you going to change your name back now to legoman? or is there still a few days/weeks left?

well if I have to chop the damned thing off I won't have to!

I think I can change my nick now....but I'll wait, just in case.

[L'egoMan]

Originally posted by Walter Sopchak
Have you made an appointment with the doctor yet? You better have, bitch!

I gotta go to the doctor next week. Got problems with my digestive system. sucks. but doesnt suck as much as a phallic-growth.

I'm not going to the doctor just yet, I believe the lump is retracting. My will is bigger then cancer!

[Herr Lipp]

go see the doctor, dont be gay. I dont even reckon it's cancer, but if you ever want a bird to take your pants off and not puke, you need to get rid of that boil or whatever it is.

you still havent provided us with photographic documentation i hasten to add.

[Divine]

i think we still need to examine it! :mad:

[L'egoMan]

there shall be no photographic evidence of this cancerous illness of mine! You see.....you can't really see it....you got to feel it...


and I'm going to be gay and not go to the doc, cause I'm not longer afraid of the lump. It is a part of me now, and I won't let anyone take it away from me!

[Herr Lipp]

you silly boy. dont be put off by getting your cock out infront of the doc, theyve BLATANTLY seen worse (e.g. yeast infected minges, all anus-related illnesses etc). your old chap isnt gonna phase him :)

[Barbarian Love Elephant]

Man stop being stupid and just go to the doc to be on the safe side yo!

A doctor here costs 40-45 euro and i got meds a few weeks ago for 16 bucks!

[Herr Lipp]

Fucking hell man. I know Ireland is good for a healthy person, but say you got cancer in Ireland, it would fucking bankrupt you wouldnt it? You have to pay for surgery and stuff, america style, dont you? And cancer drugs are v. expensive.

Hopefully I'll get a bad-ass disease when Im older so I can get my moneys worth out of my tax and national insurance. I aint been on the dole and dont plan on going on it EV4.

[Divine]

as long as you don't have a savings account or any assetts you can get medical treatment in the states. they just bill you and you ignore the bills. haha, it goes away after so long. it doesn't go on your credit either.

[Barbarian Love Elephant]

no ireland is strange gp's cost money but the surgury lark is free,it's free healthcare except for gp and certain dental(i think pre 18 its free post its not) 1/3 of the population have private healthcare however and the health system is shit.

[Herr Lipp]

danny: thats cool. it would be a bit harsh to just let poor folk die.

ronan: that is strange. there are a few girls in my cousins office that slag off britain regularly, yet think nothing of nipping over to northern ireland when they want some treatment on teh NHS. hypocriticalfucking catholic bitches. one of them called my cousin a "protestant pig" and she just laughed in her face. religous hatred between christians is fucking stupid.

[Barbarian Love Elephant]

Erm your cousin in the republic? are you sure you're right and all? i go up north for dental work for it's alot cheaper but if it is true pft money before ideals. Hehe religious hatred between christians! bless

[Cool As Ice Cream]

Originally posted by Legogirl
the lump remains...

however it has moved a couple of milimeters...! sounds like a case for mulder and scully!

[Feeling Brackish]

I hope it turns out to be nothing, man. That would really suck.

On a similar note, I noticed a strange thing in my scrotum yesterday. It feels like a small knot or something. It's not attached to my testicles though, which is how I always imagine a testicular tumor, but it doesn't hurt at all and I'm very worried about it. I haven't told any of my friends or anything though, because it could be nothing and I don't want to worry them, but I'm going to need to get that checked out soon. I'm in the process of buying a car and getting my license back though, so I won't be able to afford to go to the doctor for another month probably.

[Leela]

Originally posted by Brackish Boy
I'm in the process of buying a car and getting my license back though, so I won't be able to afford to go to the doctor for another month probably.

A CAR IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU'RE HEALTH?! A month could be the difference between remission and DEATH.

*thwack*

[Cool As Ice Cream]

How much do you pay to visit a doctor where you live? And how much do they pay back afterwards?

[Feeling Brackish]

Originally posted by Sex n' Cigarettes
A CAR IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU'RE HEALTH?! A month could be the difference between remission and DEATH.

*thwack*

I'm already in the process of buying the car, and I won't be able to get to the doctor reliably without it! I'll have it in a couple of weeks. And I doubt a month will make much of a difference.

I'm not sure how much it'll be. I have no insurance and I haven't been to a doctor since I was a teenager.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

it's the land of the free!

[Jackal]

With insurance, Doctor visit $15.00. Was, $5.00.
Without $40.00 and up, our last bill would have been $120.00!

Insurance rules!

Without, totally sucks!

[Herr Lipp]

Hey brackish Boy, that sucks ass man, hope you're okay too. I've got some problem with my digestive system, my oesophagus (spelling?) I think because a cousin has just been diagnosed with oesophagusitis, but I saw a programme on oesophagal cancer last night and I'm really worried now. The other side of my family has a history of bowel cancer too :( so im paranoid as fuck.

[Cool As Ice Cream]

Originally posted by Brackish Boy
And I doubt a month will make much of a difference. That's a very stupid thing to think.

When there's something with your balls, you need to go to a doctor asap! A month could make the difference between kids or no kids; or even balls or no balls. And then what'll you say?

It's a risk you shouldn't take.

[Herr Lipp]

Originally posted by Cool As Ice Cream
And then what'll you say?

"If only I'd listened to Bram" :(

[L'egoMan]

OK! Guy's! i got great news! The lump is retracting! It's softening up! And...I masturbated again yesterday and today too, and it works perfectly!

[Herr Lipp]

:party:

can I ask, are you circumcised? Cos if you arent I dont know how you could hurt your wang wanking? I can literally "bash" the bishop and be fine.

[L'egoMan]

circumsition is for pussies (...)

[Herr Lipp]

then you must be gripping too hard man! Loosen up a bit!

[L'egoMan]

yeah, I know I know

[Herr Lipp]

Yo man whats the quickest you can bring yourself to orgasm?

And whats teh most wanks you've had in one day?

My answers are 45 seconds ( :O if I really try) and 8!

[Liam-M]

Originally posted by Walter Sopchak
Yo man whats the quickest you can bring yourself to orgasm?

And whats teh most wanks you've had in one day?

My answers are 45 seconds ( :O if I really try) and 8!

those are 2 weird questions to ask someone. although, ive never timed myself and i havent counted.

[Herr Lipp]

what are you trying to say? :)

one day when I was 14 I was just like, fuck it I'm gonna wank all through the day, and come 10pm I had my 8th jostle. I think I may have been trying to beat my mate Alan (9 wanks), I couldnt though. Alas.

I werent even producing any jis for the last 3 wanks :lol:

I need to get a new bird soon before it becomes to hard to switch back into no-feeling penis mode. It'll be like losing my virginity all over again (that was CRAP! I had to count from 100 to 0 and I think I only made it to about 27 ha ha ha splurge)

[Liam-M]

i started masturbating at a young age (not that young, but before my friends). ive had one of those days too, but i never counted :(

[Feeling Brackish]

Originally posted by Cool As Ice Cream
That's a very stupid thing to think.

When there's something with your balls, you need to go to a doctor asap! A month could make the difference between kids or no kids; or even balls or no balls. And then what'll you say?

It's a risk you shouldn't take.
You're probably right, but I'm really without options. I have too many bills to pay and no insurance, and I can't just run off to the doctor. I have to put aside money for it. As far as the car thing goes, I can't just not buy it. If I don't I'm screwed. I have to move in a little over a month, and there's no way I can do it without a car, and my new place is too far from my work to ride my bike. So I'm kind of stuck. our health care system does suck. If you don't have insurance you're basically screwed. I may look into getting some soon, but it won't be soon enough to take care of this problem. So there you go. The only option I can think of is to tell my mom and dad about it (which I don't want to do) and they'll probably try to send me some money. That's probably what I'll wind up doing actually, now that I"m really thinking about it. I would really just rather not have my mom all worried until I know something. I guess I have no other choice really.