Your literary enemies

[Kinbote]

So let's say you've been sitting in your favorite bar all night, pounding down scotch or gin or whatever your liquor of choice is, and you've just reached a place of great belligerence and assured invincibility.

What three literary figures would you most like to notice losing at darts or malingering by the men's room or fagging it up by the jukebox, then go over and destroy with your fists and maybe bootheels?

Me:

1. Dave Eggers
2. Jonathan Safran Foer
3. Jonathan Lethem

Honorable mention goes to William Faulkner, who is excused due to his being dead.

[TheImplodingVoice]

Ann Rice
Stephen King
H.P. Lovecraft

[Atomsk Iscariot]

I share Anne Rice and Dave Eggers with the two of you.

My number 1 spot is reserved for Richard Brautigan, a fucking awful poet who's, for some reason, considered good in some circles. I feel my IQ disintegrate everytime I read one of his pieces.

Example:

"30 Cents, Two Transfers, Love"

Thinking hard about you
I got on the bus
and paid 30 cents car fare
and asked the driver for two transfers
before discovering
that I was
alone.

[Kinbote]

Jesus fucking Christ, yes, right on!

[TheImplodingVoice]

Originally posted by Atomsk Iscariot


"30 Cents, Two Transfers, Love"

Thinking hard about you
I got on the bus
and paid 30 cents car fare
and asked the driver for two transfers
before discovering
that I was
alone.

Is this really getting published?

[Atomsk Iscariot]

Originally posted by TheImplodingVoice
Is this really getting published? Yes.

And for the love of nothing, here's more!:

"Please"

Do you think of me
as often
as I think
of you?

"Deer Tracks"

Beautiful, sobbing
high-geared fucking
and then to lie silently
like deer tracks in the
freshly-fallen snow beside
the one you love.
That's all.

"Fuck Me Like Fried Potatoes"

Fuck me like fried potatoes
on the most beautifully hungry
morning of my God-damn life.

[Kinbote]

He's like the Raymond Carver of poetry. Except maybe even worse than that.

[Atomsk Iscariot]

Originally posted by UncleLester
who is excused due to his being dead. Ooopsie, Brautigan is dead.

Thank fucking God.

[TheImplodingVoice]

Oh wow...Ash Rayne's poetry is like 100 times better than that!

[homer j. simpson]

v.c. andrews
virginia woolf

i'll think of more.

[Narcissistic Nihilist]

J, K. Rowling.

[wasp in a jar]

Originally posted by Narcissistic Nihilist
J, K. Rowling.

[Narcissistic Nihilist]

Just do me a favour, Grania and keep it away from me when we go for a drink.

[wasp in a jar]

actually, i was thinking of arriving in full wizarding gear and talking harry potter theories with you til the cows come home. i'd really value your opinion on *** and what happens to *** and when will *** kill *** and why?










(or, at least i would if there was any fun to be gained out of it!)




(also don't think i could actually leave the house dressed as a wizard outside of halloween.)

[Narcissistic Nihilist]

Originally posted by wasp in a jar
actually, i was thinking of arriving in full wizarding gear and talking harry potter theories with you til the cows come home. i'd really value your opinion on *** and what happens to *** and when will *** kill *** and why?










(or, at least i would if there was any fun to be gained out of it!)




(also don't think i could actually leave the house dressed as a wizard outside of halloween.)
Awww, you'd look so cute as well, Gra!

[Static Split Screen]

I can just imagine Danny scowling furiously.

[Static Split Screen]

Anne Rice
Dave Eggers
E.E. Cummings
Emily Dickenson
That Epic Poety Guy
J.K. Rowling
Lemony Snicket
Enith Blighton (A blight upon her soul:mad:)
Jeffrey Archer
Audrey Niffenegger
Martina Cole
Wilbur Smith

There are literally (haha) hundreds of others I could put in here.

[TheImplodingVoice]

Originally posted by Narcissistic Nihilist
J, K. Rowling.

:yes:

[wasp in a jar]

Originally posted by Narcissistic Nihilist
Awww, you'd look so cute as well, Gra!

[Narcissistic Nihilist]

Originally posted by wasp in a jar

:-*

[More Cowbell]

sorry, i can't have enemies. If they're published at all I hate/envy/admire them. If they're not I pity them.