Are we ever going to find out where Elliott is buried?

[feintimes]

It's 16 months later, and nobody even knows if he is buried, creamated, or remains lying in LA Coroner's Office. Does anybody but me think this is very strange??

[joely]

are you ever going to stop being a jerk off?

[satisfied mind]

Originally posted by feintimes
nobody even knows if he is buried, creamated, or remains lying in LA Coroner's Office.

I'm going to take a wild stab and say I bet his family knows. They count, right?

[the grobe]

CHRIST feintimes, you don't get it yet eh? You tire me with your senselessness.

[tomislav]

No.

[feintimes]

Originally posted by Liam
sure a lot of people would like to know, but this isn't the time or place to ask. the subject is too sensitive and could offend many.

When will it stop being "too sensitive"? We've already rehashed every other question about his death--why is this one so much more sensitive than all the others?

[kaesrya]

I thought I read somewhere or another that he was cremated, but I'm probably wrong. Regardless, the point is it's none of our business what his family chose to do with his body. I'm sure people are curious, but it's just one of those things you don't ask. You know, tact and all...

[nikita]

Originally posted by kaesrya
You know, tact and all...



this is where fein has trouble...

[rednickel]

they probably don't want his gravesite (if there is one) to be a tourist attraction.

[days_between]

I read he was cremated also

[feintimes]

Originally posted by kaesrya
I thought I read somewhere or another that he was cremated, but I'm probably wrong. Regardless, the point is it's none of our business what his family chose to do with his body. I'm sure people are curious, but it's just one of those things you don't ask. You know, tact and all...

So why can't the family just say, "he was creamated" and let it be at that? Or if he was buried somewhere, why not just say, he's been buried, but the family prefers that no non-family members come to visit his gravesite. Or, even if the family would just say, "we prefer not to disclose where or if he was buried". It's the absence of any information whatsoever that is so curious.

[kaesrya]

Because they don't owe us anything, basically.

[nikita]

Originally posted by feintimes
So why can't the family just say, "he was creamated" and let it be at that? Or if he was buried somewhere, why not just say, he's been buried, but the family prefers that no non-family members come to visit his gravesite. Or, even if the family would just say, "we prefer not to disclose where or if he was buried". It's the absence of any information whatsoever that is so curious.




because maybe they don't want to... and they probably wouldn't want to tell you anything anyway considering all the lies you've started about Elliott...


you need to grow up

[feintimes]

Originally posted by kaesrya
Because they don't owe us anything, basically.

It's the overwhelming common practice in the U.S. to say what happened to the deceased, where he was buried, if he was cremated, etc. It's always the option of the family to say what they wish, but usually there's a pretty good reason for withholding such information. If he was cremated, what possible reason could there be for not saying so?

[creatrix]

I know for a fact that he is interred in a small cemetary just outside of Upyranus, Indiana. The marker is a simple flat stone that reads "They're fcuking [sic] up even the simplest things." It was originally going to be an exact quotation, but after seven tries, they were unable to find an engraver willing to put the word "fuck" on a marker, so they decided to be tounge in cheek about it.

Here's a pic: I've been there.

Pic of ES marker (http://www. youreallythoughtiwas serious??.com)

[feintimes]

Originally posted by creatrix
I know for a fact that he is interred in a small cemetary just outside of Upyranus, Indiana. The marker is a simple flat stone that reads "They're fcuking [sic] up even the simplest things." It was originally going to be an exact quotation, but after seven tries, they were unable to find an engraver willing to put the word "fuck" on a marker, so they decided to be tounge in cheek about it.

Here's a pic: I've been there.

Pic of ES marker (http://www. youreallythoughtiwas serious??.com)

You probably put your tongue in a lot of cheeks, now don't you, Creatrix?

[creatrix]

Originally posted by feintimes
You probably put your tongue in a lot of cheeks, now don't you, Creatrix?

Not as many as it's been invited into... :-D

[rocco]

Originally posted by satisfied mind
I'm going to take a wild stab and say I bet his family knows. They count, right?

D: diction, justin! diction!

[chemgyrl]

Originally posted by feintimes
So why can't the family just say, "he was creamated" and let it be at that? Or if he was buried somewhere, why not just say, he's been buried, but the family prefers that no non-family members come to visit his gravesite. Or, even if the family would just say, "we prefer not to disclose where or if he was buried". It's the absence of any information whatsoever that is so curious.

Why do you need to know? Why do you feel entitled to this information? We all enjoyed/enjoy Elliott's music and to some extent feel a connection to him due to the music but the reality is that it is a one sided deal, just because we enjoy his music does not mean we are entitled to access to his family or their personal life, or the details of his personal life. If you can't see that line and not cross it than you are venturing into stalker land at worst and insensitive ass at the least. So why don't you just enjoy the music and leave the personal stuff out.

[satisfied mind]

Originally posted by rocco
D: diction, justin! diction!

:confused:

[rocco]

Originally posted by satisfied mind
:confused: ("take a wild stab...")

[satisfied mind]

I saw the italics. ;)

I know I can't take the stab anywhere or pick it up. It's just an expression. :darn:

[Jack Fate]

Just go to the wall @ Solutions on Sunset Blvd.

Pay yer f'n respects, and leave.

that seems to have worked for the rest of us around here.

[rocco]

Originally posted by satisfied mind
I saw the italics. ;)

I know I can't take the stab anywhere or pick it up. It's just an expression. :darn: i was just teasing. it seemed like an odd choice of words considering the circumstances. ;) :-*

[feintimes]

Originally posted by chemgyrl
Why do you need to know? Why do you feel entitled to this information? We all enjoyed/enjoy Elliott's music and to some extent feel a connection to him due to the music but the reality is that it is a one sided deal, just because we enjoy his music does not mean we are entitled to access to his family or their personal life, or the details of his personal life. If you can't see that line and not cross it than you are venturing into stalker land at worst and insensitive ass at the least. So why don't you just enjoy the music and leave the personal stuff out.

Thank you for protecting the sanctity of Elliott's family's privacy, but if he was cremated (as some on this thread say they saw), then that is a fact that some people would want to know, and I hardly think it's a major invasion of the Smith family's privacy for us to know this.

[satisfied mind]

Originally posted by rocco
i was just teasing. it seemed like an odd choice of words considering the circumstances. ;) :-*

haha! doh!

*makes plane motion over my head* :-o

:hide:

[chemgyrl]

Originally posted by feintimes
Thank you for protecting the sanctity of Elliott's family's privacy, but if he was cremated (as some on this thread say they saw), then that is a fact that some people would want to know, and I hardly think it's a major invasion of the Smith family's privacy for us to know this.

Allow me to restate my question of why do you think you are entitled to this information? Really what's it to you?

[rocco]

Originally posted by satisfied mind
haha! doh!

*makes plane motion over my head* :-o

:hide: :lol:

[TheKeenGuy]

Wait, I've got Elliott's family on the phone right now...

"Hey, I hope you don't mind me asking, but... what am I saying, I'm sure you won't mind! You know your dead son? ...yeah, that one. Well I'm just curious, after his brutal death, which I'm sure you're TOTALLY over by now, did you have your dead son's body burned to ashes and then put in a jar or did you bury him in the ground against his wishes? ...hello, are you still there? Why are you crying?! I was just curious!!! ...hello?!"

God, the members of Elliott's family are such assholes, aren't they?

[PALACE]

i dont want to offend anyone but i do want to know. and i agree with feintimes to an extent. for personal reasons. if there is a burial site i'd want to visit it... maybe its closure or whatever but i would like to know.

this thread is getting me down......... fuck it

[PALACE]

Originally posted by TheKeenGuy
Wait, I've got Elliott's family on the phone right now...

"Hey, I hope you don't mind me asking, but... what am I saying, I'm sure you won't mind! You know your dead son? ...yeah, that one. Well I'm just curious, after his brutal death, which I'm sure you're TOTALLY over by now, did you have your dead son's body burned to ashes and then put in a jar or did you bury him in the ground against his wishes? ...hello, are you still there? Why are you crying?! I was just curious!!! ...hello?!"

God, the members of Elliott's family are such assholes, aren't they?


i think your taking this a bit too far. i realize this is upsetting to people but you dont have to be a dick about it.

[nikita]

Originally posted by PALACE
i think your taking this a bit too far. i realize this is upsetting to people but you dont have to be a dick about it.



:ok:

[TheKeenGuy]

Originally posted by PALACE
i think your taking this a bit too far. i realize this is upsetting to people but you dont have to be a dick about it.
...does that mean you don't want me to call them back?

[simpsonopraphic]

ahab : moby dick
sedgely park : bill
everyone else: feiny

[PALACE]

Originally posted by TheKeenGuy
...does that mean you don't want me to call them back?

i honestly cant beleive how insensitive you are. it makes me sick.

[claireee]

Originally posted by PALACE
i honestly cant beleive how insensitive you are. it makes me sick.

Am I the only one who sees the irony here?

[satisfied mind]

Originally posted by PALACE
i think your taking this a bit too far.

Normally I would agree, but since it was in response to fein, it's closer to being appropriate, imo.

[rocco]

Originally posted by PALACE
i honestly cant beleive how insensitive you are. it makes me sick. actually, i think he is being sensitive towards the people that really matter when it comes to the family's personal business.

[nikita]

Originally posted by claireee
Am I the only one who sees the irony here?


:yes: :yes:

[Ally]

People just need to






























































SHUT THE FUCK UP!:mad:

[chemgyrl]

Originally posted by claireee
Am I the only one who sees the irony here?

no it's quite clear

[braedyn]

Originally posted by rocco
actually, i think he is being sensitive towards the people that really matter when it comes to the family's personal business.

defenetly

[rocco]

why isn't this thread on the memorial board, anyway?

[TheKeenGuy]

Originally posted by PALACE
i honestly cant beleive how insensitive you are. it makes me sick.
Oh good. Well, now you're feeling a fraction of the feelings of Elliott's family.

Let's make this clear. You are allowed Elliott Smith's music. For this, you are lucky. However, you do not deserve anything when it comes to Elliott Smith the person. Everything you get, every bit if information about Elliott Smith the person, is a gift... and furthermore, a gift that none of us deserve. We're simply lucky to get it.

It's rude to ask a family who has lost their son for more. "Yes, you gave us his last album. You've given us so much. But we want more." That is insensitive. That's being a lot ruder to them than I'm being to you. And, as far as I know, you don't even have a dead son.

So stop telling me how sick you feel and learn to be a little compassionate.

[PALACE]

Originally posted by rocco
actually, i think he is being sensitive towards the people that really matter when it comes to the family's personal business.

how so? i really think that if one of the family members would of seen that post he made they would be extremely offended. theres better ways of talking about this then being completely sarcastic about something/someone that means so much to everyone on this board(or atleast i thought so). anyways im not at all trying to defend feintimes. i just said i saw where he was coming from. im a fan of elliott smith, elliott smith is my hero, i would like to show my respect, thats all. i dont think anyone should force the family into giving out information or anything and im not at all saying that they should and i dont want people to think that i want that. i love elliott smith, and i think its only natural that someone who loved him and his music would want to pay their respect.

im still very sensitive about his death and i hate talking about it, let alone arguing about it with you people. i feel something missing, thats all. i want closure.

[PALACE]

you[/i] feel and learn to be a little compassionate. [/B]

how can you tell me that im insensitive, when you write some extremely offensive sarcastic comment about elliott smiths death? and i never said to try and get that information out of the family.... that was feintimes, so dont take it out on me.

[rocco]

like jack fate said, there is a place for the fans in silver lake. go to the wall at sound solutions. it's where all of us have gone. believe me, you aren't the only fan to love him and want closure. we take what we can get.

[Ally]

Originally posted by PALACE


i want closure.

THE MAN IS DEAD! isnt that closure enough? why do you think that by knowing where he is and what method the family chose it will give you closure? he wasnt your bestfriend,boyfriend,husband,brother. he was a musician. plain and simple. he owes you nothing and you owe him the respect to MIND YOUR FUCKING P'S AND Q'S!

[the grobe]

Originally posted by Ally
THE MAN IS DEAD! isnt that closure enough? why do you think that by knowing where he is and what method the family chose it will give you closure? he wasnt your bestfriend,boyfriend,husband,brother. he was a musician. plain and simple. he owes you nothing and you owe him the respect to MIND YOUR FUCKING P'S AND Q'S!

hit the nail on the head. thank you Ally.

[PALACE]

well he felt like my best friend, and so when he died it just wasnt a little thing to me, ok? and obviously im not over it yet and i doubt i'll ever get over it. hes been the biggest influence in my life.... so please dont attack me for it.

[satisfied mind]

Ugh, you know I love ya, Ally, but the guy has the right to desire closure by whatever means he wants. That doesn't mean he has the right to demand it, but he hasn't done that.

He's obviously hurting as many are and have been...the anger just seems misdirected.

Once again feiny has succeeded in causing conflict and pain. Gold star, buddy.

[PALACE]

i dont want to be a prick and keep this going (god knows i wish this would end) but i just really cant get over it...... and im sorry

[Ally]

Originally posted by satisfied mind
Ugh, you know I love ya, Ally, but the guy has the right to desire closure by whatever means he wants. That doesn't mean he has the right to demand it, but he hasn't done that.

He's obviously hurting as many are and have been...the anger just seems misdirected.

Once again feiny has succeeded in causing conflict and pain. Gold star, buddy.

i love ya too justin, but im sick and fucking tired of people thinking they have a right to someone's personal life. and honestly im more pissed off knowing that if anyone did know where a grave stone was they would just turn it into what jim morrison's gravesite looks like. have you seen pictures of that place? beer bottles and graphitti and broken glass. thats so wrong! leave the dead be. i understand all this hurt and shit but really it isnt right for people to think they have to know EVERYTHING about him and his family. imagine if this was you. would your family want complete strangers prying into there decsions regarding the process of which you are buried/burned? i know mine wouldn't



and here is another gold star for fein.....your so good at starting shit.

[TheKeenGuy]

Originally posted by PALACE
well he felt like my best friend, and so when he died it just wasnt a little thing to me, ok? and obviously im not over it yet and i doubt i'll ever get over it. hes been the biggest influence in my life.... so please dont attack me for it.
That's not something that any of us are angry at you for, but your emotional instability is not something that Elliott's family should be burdened with. You're in a lot of pain and so you're not thinking rationally. But you're just going to have to be a grown-up about this and put things in perspective. The family cannot invite all of Elliott Smith's fans in on their greiving process. It's just not in the cards for you... so you're going to have to find another way of doing it. We're all here to help, as flawed as everyone on this board is.

[satisfied mind]

Originally posted by Ally
i love ya too justin, but im sick and fucking tired of people thinking they have a right to someone's personal life. and honestly im more pissed off knowing that if anyone did know where a grave stone was they would just turn it into what jim morrison's gravesite looks like. have you seen pictured of that place? beer bottles and graphitti and broken glass. thats so wrong! leave the dead be. i understand all this hurt and shit but really it isnt right for people to think they have to know EVERYTHING about him and him family. imagine if this was you. would your family want complete strangers prying into there decsions regarding the process of which you are buried/burned? i know mine wouldn't

and here is another glod start for fein.....your so good at starting shit.

:heart:

I totally see what you're saying, and I certainly wouldn't want that to happen to his site either. I guess I more had in mine the way Nick Drake's gravesite has been respected and taken care of...but I digress, and there would no way to control that anyway. I'm bothered by over-zealous fans who feel entitled to stuff too...I don't know what else to say. I just didn't want the guy getting what is rightfully fein's.

[satisfied mind]

Originally posted by TheKeenGuy
That's not something that any of us are angry at you for, but your emotional instability is not something that Elliott's family should be burdened with. You're in a lot of pain and so you're not thinking rationally. But you're just going to have to be a grown-up about this and put things in perspective. The family cannot invite all of Elliott Smith's fans in on their greiving process. It's just not in the cards for you... so you're going to have to find another way of doing it. We're all here to help, as flawed as everyone on this board is.

:yes:

[PALACE]

Originally posted by TheKeenGuy
That's not something that any of us are angry at you for, but your emotional instability is not something that Elliott's family should be burdened with. You're in a lot of pain and so you're not thinking rationally. But you're just going to have to be a grown-up about this and put things in perspective. The family cannot invite all of Elliott Smith's fans in on their greiving process. It's just not in the cards for you... so you're going to have to find another way of doing it. We're all here to help, as flawed as everyone on this board is.

i understand that im getting extremely emotional about this and i truely am sorry for that and i want everyone to know that, my intentions werent to make people mad and im not trying to get into peoples personal business. i havent really talked about his death at all since it happened and im sorry for bringing it all up now. its just hard to be rational when one of the first posts i read on here is talking about his death so nonchalantly, even if it wasnt intended to be mean, you know? its upsetting. and again im sorry.

[nikita]

Originally posted by PALACE
i understand that im getting extremely emotional about this and i truely am sorry for that and i want everyone to know that, my intentions werent to make people mad and im not trying to get into peoples personal business. i havent really talked about his death at all since it happened and im sorry for bringing it all up now. its just hard to be rational when one of the first posts i read on here is talking about his death so nonchalantly, even if it wasnt intended to be mean, you know? its upsetting. and again im sorry.



the memorial board is good for talking about these feelings... it certainly made me feel better :)


:heart:

[PALACE]

i think most of all i just want to relate with someone about his death, which i havent really done at all. and again i dont want to sound repetitive... but im really sorry....

[RulesMapsGuns]

i would love to visit his gravesite...if indeed it did exist. I feel a strong sense of respect when i visit long-passed family members...and truth be told, i feel a greater connection to es.

i have a bitchin photo of Dylan and Ginsburg at Kerouac's grave, playing a tune. i would love that.

its not like fein asked "where is elliott's soul, heaven or hell?"...jeez, give him a break. Im extremely curious too, and i think a lot of us have the same desire to know...


(or not, shut the fuck up, kris)

[Jack Fate]

Originally posted by PALACE
i dont want to be a prick and keep this going (god knows i wish this would end) but i just really cant get over it...... and im sorry

maybe you should consider seeing a therapist(?), or seek out some other form of grief conseling.

just a suggestion.

[PALACE]

Originally posted by Jack Fate
maybe you should consider seeing a therapist(?), or seek out some other form of grief conseling.

just a suggestion.

i dont know if your serious... or just fucking with me.....

[ktothebbc]

Originally posted by PALACE
i think most of all i just want to relate with someone about his death, which i havent really done at all. and again i dont want to sound repetitive... but im really sorry....
Palace, if for no other reason (and I really can't think of one to be quite honest), because it allowed you to voice these sentiments, I'm glad Feintimes decided to start this ridiculous thread.

If it makes you feel any better, despite the fact that I don't like seeing threads like this, I miss Elliott every single day. It doesn't sound stupid to me to hear you say the same.

However, like Keen said (and DAMMIT he's usually right :hate: ), we really need to find positive outlets for all this. And I think that's why everyone is here. We all miss him. I for one like to just assume that's why we're here at all and have a good time while I'm checking in. So, with that, I bid you welcome, stick around, see what folks are about.

And here is a picture of Will Ferrell with a mustache to help cheer you up! :)

http://www.indexmagazine.com/images/issue_44_will_ferrell_lores.gif

[PALACE]

Originally posted by ktothebbc
Palace, if for no other reason (and I really can't think of one to be quite honest), because it allowed you to voice these sentiments, I'm glad Feintimes decided to start this ridiculous thread.

If it makes you feel any better, despite the fact that I don't like seeing threads like this, I miss Elliott every single day. It doesn't sound stupid to me to hear you say the same.

However, like Keen said (and DAMMIT he's usually right :hate: ), we really need to find positive outlets for all this. And I think that's why everyone is here. We all miss him. I for one like to just assume that's why we're here at all and have a good time while I'm checking in. So, with that, I bid you welcome, stick around, see what folks are about.

And here is a picture of Will Ferrell with a mustache to help cheer you up! :)

http://www.indexmagazine.com/images/issue_44_will_ferrell_lores.gif


haha i really appreciate that
thank you...
and in a way i feel better...

[nikita]

Originally posted by PALACE
i dont know if your serious... or just fucking with me.....


I think his suggestion was a very valid one (whether serious or not)...


if you have grief for something, no matter what it is or how weird it may seem, getting a little help is completely logical...

I had an awful time with Elliott's death... it was sort of an outlet for grief for all the pain I felt from other things that were bothering me at the same time...

anyway, a lot of us have been (and might still be) in the same place you are...

and talking does help... with a professional or just someone on the board...

(feel free to PM me if you feel like:heart: )

[PoisonArms]

Man, I saw this post when I was on earlier, and was like "uh-oh". Sure enough, its on to page two in two hours.

[PALACE]

thanks alot guys, i feel alot better. i shouldnt be so easily offended by things like this but i think ive recovered haha
thanks

[Jack Fate]

Originally posted by PALACE
i dont know if your serious... or just fucking with me.....

If I wanted to fuck with you, I'd have simply not posted anything at all.

Basically, if you're in pain, and it keeps/prevents you from doing/enjoying/going about your everyday life, then you need help. That's all.

"we're jus tryin' to be friendly, people say we monkey around"

...........and on that note I'm now off to get drunk and fuck w/ some people who deserve to be fucked with.

[krisis]

do people really want to visit a gravesite and "pay respect"? do people think that if they go visit a site maybe some inspiration will rub off into their own songwriting or something? do you want to say "thank you"? do you really think he's listening to you? if so, you are a fucking idiot.

the way i see it, everyday i either listen to his music or play it on a guitar or talk to someone about him. thats fucking respect. there is not any other artist i can say that about.

[creatrix]

Originally posted by krisis
do people really want to visit a gravesite and "pay respect"? do people think that if they go visit a site maybe some inspiration will rub off into their own songwriting or something? do you want to say "thank you"? do you really think he's listening to you? if so, you are a fucking idiot.

the way i see it, everyday i either listen to his music or play it on a guitar or talk to someone about him. thats fucking respect. there is not any other artist i can say that about.

Sorry, krisis, but I'm not ready to condemn someone as a fucking idiot just because they gain comfort from a gravesite. How do you know he's not listening? How do you know that the dead don't have consciousnesses capable of hearing your words? If someone feels peace from believing that, who are you - or any of us - to try to take that away?

I agree, as hopefully established by my earlier wiseass comment, that it isn't necessarily any of our business where Elliott is burried, if anywhere, but I can still understand the desire to know. KG and Kevin are right, though: just because we might WANT to know doesn't give us the right to know...

[tasha]

it seems like, culturally, we are taught that going to a funeral, a burial, a memorial service is our duty - to bring closure and to pay respect to the "dearly departed"

going to one of these events has never brought me closure...i can't do closure immediately after someone dies...i at least have to come out of shock first...but i feel like i'm not being respectful if i don't attend...

i can see why some people would really want to visit his resting place...i can see that some people have a hard time with the ceremony of closure without knowing where he was laid to rest - in whatever form...

i'm going to find a wild place and plant some wildflowers...i think of the scene in Strange Parallel where everyone wants a piece of him so he runs away to the woods to find a quiet place to play guitar (after dumping all the dirt out of it first)...a place like that...wild and free and quiet...

i think people need to find their own place - their own way to say goodbye at their own right time...the closure is, afterall, for each of us...

[krisis]

maybe "fucking idiot" is a bit harsh, i'm sorry for that. but what will someone get out of visiting a gravesite of someone that they don't know? we all think we know elliott cause we connected so much with his music but unless you're a close friend or a relative, why should fans be privilaged to the information of where his remains are?

they say R.I.P. for a reason you know?

[tasha]

i'm not saying we should be allowed into the site chosen by his family...i'm saying we all have permission to do some kind of ceremony to honor him and get closure...

maybe you weren't responding to me...sorry...

it's just that whenever someone brings this up they get blasted...both barrells...lock and load...and what it ends up sounding like (to me) is that unless you were family or close friend, you don't get to be a part of it/him/them

i believe in honoring the family's privacy but i can also see that there are many people grieving...everyone who grieves has permission to do some kind of gesture - whether it be public or private...some people held memorial concerts and that was awesome...some people went to the wall in LA and that was awesome...some people haven't gotten to do anything and need to...hell, some people are still just finding out...

but that's my stuff...is it inappropriate to want to know where Elliott's remains are? that's not for me to answer...it is completely appropriate for everyone who wants to to get a chance to grieve and pay respect in a way that's meaningful to them...

[krisis]

i flew to boston for Mary Lou Lord's memorial show, i played a memorial show in NYC and i went to "the wall" in LA. honestly, that is all i felt i could do, and should do. oh, i forgot to mention my elliott smith tattoo! fucking Reespeck!!

it's not like when they dedicated a part of Central Park to John Lennon, elliott's family just hasn't come out with any info about it, so why pry?

[tasha]

Originally posted by krisis
i flew to boston for Mary Lou Lord's memorial show, i played a memorial show in NYC and i went to "the wall" in LA. honestly, that is all i felt i could do, and should do. oh, i forgot to mention my elliott smith tattoo! fucking Reespeck!!

it's not like when they dedicated a part of Central Park to John Lennon, elliott's family just hasn't come out with any info about it, so why pry?

that's really awesome...you did alot!

it does no good to pry - but i can still see why people want to know...i don't think it's to violate...i think it's so they can honor him...and we are taught that's what we're supposed to do...that's the correct thing to do...

what do you suggest for someone who was unable to attend any of the memorial concerts? should they just suck it up and move on?

i'm not really trying to argue with you...i respect the family's right to privacy and their desire to respect Elliott's privacy...

and wasn't it feintimes who tried to get part of Echo Park dedicated to Elliott? many of us signed the petition but it didn't make it through city council or something? i was hoping that would go through...there was talk that the solutions wall was going to be painted over at some point in the not-too-distant future...

if we can't know where he's buried to pay respect there - where is it ok to go? the act of paying respect and getting closure is important to some people...the need is very strong...where do they go?

[joshofalltrades]

I don't want to come across as a jerk, but it seems to me that if you were really close to Elliott personally (personal enough to want to see his actual grave), you would already know this information.

I don't think there is some huge Elliott Smith conspiracy going on. Maybe the family just wants a little privacy. Hell, if I died, I wouldn't necessarily want everybody in the world to know where to go, either.

As far as a place you can go to pay respects, the owner of Sound Solutions in Los Angeles have been nice enough to let everybody go there and lay flowers on the wall or whatever it is you do for closure.

Continue with your regularly scheduled flame-war. :) :burn:

[joshofalltrades]

oops -- have should read "has" above.

Sorry. I'm obsessive about spelling errors. :lol:

[krisis]

closure comes from within. i don't think any one thing that i did brought closure to me. it was the understanding that this music will always be good to me and that the music is all i really had in the first place, made me realize his death didn't take anything away from me. i've got all i need.

[Jacobus]

elliott's ashes are where they should be with the people who loved him the most.

[Jack Fate]

Originally posted by Jacobus
elliott's ashes are where they should be with the people who loved him the most.

in your BONG?











.....sorry, that was completely uncalled for, and un-funny.

back to the flame-war.

[creatrix]

Originally posted by Jack Fate
in your BONG?











.....sorry, that was completely uncalled for, and un-funny.

back to the flame-war.

Nah - I think Jacobus put a much-needed end to the flame war - and that WAS really funny. Of course, it's a well known fact that I have poor taste.... :-o




:-D

[TheKeenGuy]

Originally posted by Jacobus
elliott's ashes are where they should be with the people who loved him the most.
I find that very interesting (because I know how you feel).

[finneganwakes]

Originally posted by Jacobus
elliott's ashes are where they should be with the people who loved him the most.

Thanks for this. I hope people here understand and that it ends the speculation.

[monstersWalkthe_earth]

I understand both arguments and I think everyone who really connects to his music feel like he was a family member or something.

But we weren't and we aren't.

While reading through this thread I was thinking about (if there was a grave) taking a few flowers and maybe just sitting and reflecting while at his grave maybe bringing my head phones so I could listen to some of his music....it's a nice idea....but it's not necessary.

Just listen to Last Hour or download a few shows.

It's sad and it hurts, alot.

But when I get to hear a new song like "have you seen her" my heart skips a little and I smile once again, and that's what he wanted. He didn't have to give us that.

"i rarely think of john lennon as dead. there's too much life in his music to think of him as gone."

[*a brief smile*]

I'd like to leave some flowers or something meaningful (a beatles album inlay or something?) by his grave if I had the chance. But I don't feel the need to. Someday if I ever end up in LA, I'll sign the Figure 8 wall. That's good enough for me.

[DistortedReality]

Ah, lest do we forget what happened to James Douglas Morrison. He was buried in Paris when he died, in 1971, and since then his grave has been a haven for grafitti (not Doors related) and some people stole his remains, as in his bones. I feel terrible for the Lizard King,neither he nor Elliott deserve that to be done to them. Not that I'm saying that that will happpen to Elliott, but then again people are cruel. Just be glad he made the music, man. It's none of our business where he is buried or whether he was cremated or not. That's a bit assholish to even suggest. Just thank whomever that he was here and graced this earth with his presence, if only for a short 34 years.

- Pat

[DistortedReality]

Sorry all, double post.
- Pat

[elisabeth]

You spell it "cremated."
There is no "cream" in it.
Sorry.
Inconsequential pet peeve.
Just gets to me for some reason.

[Elliott In My Heart]

Originally posted by elisabeth
You spell it "cremated."
There is no "cream" in it.
Sorry.
Inconsequential pet peeve.
Just gets to me for some reason.

haha great humor for such a touchy subject I see!


I understand both sides of the arguement BUT Elliott didn't want to see you hovering around his neighborhood so why the hell would he want you sitting above where hes resting? FUCK YOU MAN! Leave him the hell alone already.... did it ever occur to you that MAYBE thats what he wanted and MAYBE thats why hes gone???

[emolized to death]

Originally posted by PALACE
thanks alot guys, i feel alot better. i shouldnt be so easily offended by things like this but i think ive recovered haha
thanks
i'm glad to see you got over it, champion.

maybe your next step will be to turn off the hall light and shut your door at night.

[scottowen]

Why would anyone feel the need to interupt his peace? If he was buried, i believe he should be left in peace.

I like many here, absolutely loved the man. He inspired me in every way possible, from music to just everyday actions. But as others have said, we don't have the right to assume that gives up full knowledge..it doesn't.

Being that it is so close to the date, in my opinion you should instead cherish what he did for all of us. Cherish what you have because of him. Some brillant albums, concert stubs, whatever.

Oh, this is my first post on here..Finally registered..ha.

<3
Cya

[Brilliant Sun]

If the family ever chose to disclose that information it wouldn't change anything or make me feel closure, a word that's sort of abhorrent to me. I feel it every day; DistoredReality said it best...'just thank whomever that he was here, and graced this earth with his presence.' That's enough for me.

[wolfman]

i'm not sure why people care other than perhaps wanting to visit a gravesite, but elliott was cremated after the autopsy. the end.

[theshatteredship]

I just logged on after being away for awhile and I'm shocked at the way everyone is treating eachother. No one is here to be insensitive. We all loved Elliott Smith. We all wish he could still be here. Do we really have to get upset with eachother. I was interested where elliott might be buried too (although i think he wanted not to be buried) and i don't think that is an insensitive thing to ask. Alot of people like to go and pay their respects and have a moment in the presense of someone they admire. It's not a tourist thing. And would it be all that bad? anyone who actually came to give respects would obviously be someone who really cared about his music and the effect he had on all of us.

[sombre winds]

We all grieve in our own way. For some that might mean visiting a grave site just as some people tour Portland sites. Elliott is dead amd isn't likely to care what people do with his remains. Because some here have other ways they grieve or deal with loss, doesn't make those who want some tangible memorial wrong.

There isn't a grave and there may never be. Still I'd like to see something like that set up at some point.

[space girl lost]

i can see how it is therapeutic. i partially drove all the way from austin, tx to st louis to see the gravesite of my old best friend who killed himself the same year as elliott. it is a sobering experience. but i can also see how when you allow such knowledge out there that some bad eggs will come around and muck things up. his family didn't want that so one should respect that. and i do. though, yeah, i'll admit i sometimes wish i knew. just to one day and only one day stop by and hit that point where i can say "okay. you're gone. i miss you. just wanted you to know," bawl my eyes out for a bit and move on from the place and in my life. just b/c to me that burial place is the only semblance of his once physicality. it represents a closeness one cannot have anymore. *shrug*

anyway. that's my often quiet take on it.

[the elephant's child]

just testing out my new account. also i would like to add that i am glad i don't know if he's burried or where he is if he is, because i would just feel too weird knowing that. i'm glad the only place people go to remember him is the wall...it seems more fitting than people going to a graveyard to pay homage. it's just TOO morbid. more morbid than this website. and even i have a limit.
anywho, hi. i am not necessarily new, i just have a new account more than a year after i started my other one. later, skaters.
<img src="http://www.ezthemes.com/previews/d/darkness.jpg">

[the elephant's child]

another test.

[sombre winds]

Originally posted by badassmother
just testing out my new account. also i would like to add that i am glad i don't know if he's burried or where he is if he is, because i would just feel too weird knowing that. i'm glad the only place people go to remember him is the wall...it seems more fitting than people going to a graveyard to pay homage. it's just TOO morbid. more morbid than this website. and even i have a limit.
anywho, hi. i am not necessarily new, i just have a new account more than a year after i started my other one. later, skaters.
<img src="http://www.ezthemes.com/previews/d/darkness.jpg">

I like graveyards actually. When I lived on the east coast I'd do rubbings on quaint markers with interesting sayings.

[ParentheticalThought]

Originally posted by sombre winds
I like graveyards actually. When I lived on the east coast I'd do rubbings on quaint markers with interesting sayings.

I like graveyards too. It's kind of like visiting old houses, except the people are still there. You can see a bit of what they were like, in the sayings and decorations and type faces. And those are their real bones down there.

But I feel differently when someone I knew is there. It's so hard knowing that they're there and you can't get to them anymore. I can understand why people would want to visit Elliott's grave - I can see their point - but I'm glad I don't know where Elliott is. I like him being anywhere and everwhere, or nowhere. That's what it feels like to me, day to day, anyway.

[the elephant's child]

Originally posted by ParentheticalThought
I like graveyards too. It's kind of like visiting old houses, except the people are still there. You can see a bit of what they were like, in the sayings and decorations and type faces. And those are their real bones down there.

But I feel differently when someone I knew is there. It's so hard knowing that they're there and you can't get to them anymore. I can understand why people would want to visit Elliott's grave - I can see their point - but I'm glad I don't know where Elliott is. I like him being anywhere and everwhere, or nowhere. That's what it feels like to me, day to day, anyway.

that's exactly how i feel. besides graveyards on the east coast are way cooler than the ones in la. except for the hollywood cemetery, you can watch movies there.
so does anybody know if html works or doesn't work on these posts...

[the elephant's child]

Originally posted by Jack Fate
in your BONG?











.....sorry, that was completely uncalled for, and un-funny.

back to the flame-war.

hahahahaha.

[heavymetalmouthagain]

Originally posted by Hannah
I really haven't had the time to greave properly. All I've done is listen to his music and carve a big "XO" into my fourarm. Sounds nuts, and maby I am but thats really all I've done for closeure. I rember the night I found out about his death, it had only been 3 months prior that I'd seen him at henry founda when I went to visit a family member in LA. I was working on a term paper, and was takeing a much needed break from my paper. I loged onto sweet addie and lo there was his obituary statment I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. First emotion was anger so I reached for my exacto knife and carved my arms to hell, falling asleep in a pool of my oun blood. The next morning I was a bloody mess my RA's banged down the door to see what was wrong. They then proceeded to tell the dean and shortly there after I was kicked out of school and told to not come back until I was well. Funny thing is I left with a 3.0 gpa. With all that said, I'm starting school again in the fall online (I"m not allowed to ever live on campus again.) trying to move on with my life, I've put out a cd with the majority of the songs being about him. Hell most of you thought my songs sucked and thats why I've sticked to covering his songs. Anyhow, I just haven't had the time or energy to "close" this open wound in my heart, everytime I hear a song of his the hole gets larger, its like a knife that someone is twisting around in my chest (no pun intended) Anyways, thats it I guess. I'll shut up now. holy Hannah..does it always gotta comeback and become a YOU thing?