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standinaround
09-14-2007, 12:05 AM
I'll never forget the time I got caught stealing watermelons from old Mr. Barnslow's watermelon patch. I was with my friend Bobby. We were giggling so hard I thought I'd wet my pants! At first we tried to steal two watermelons each, but they were too heavy and we dropped them, and that made us laugh even harder. Finally, we each picked out a good one, and we were just about to sneak back through the fence when we heard a low, deep voice behind us. "Just where do you think you're going with those watermelons?" I gulped and turned around. It was old Mr. Barnslow, pointing his shotgun at us. Bobby dropped his watermelon, then pulled out the .38 revolver he kept in his waist, turned, and fired. But the turning must have thrown off his aim, because the shot only hit Mr. Barnslow in the thigh. Mr. Barnslow immediately fired both barrels at Bobby. One blast of buckshot missed entirely, but the other tore into Bobby's shoulder. He tried to fire back, but his shoulder was so torn up he couldn't raise his arm. Just as he was trying to switch to his left hand, Mr. Barnslow ran up and cracked him across the face with the butt of his shotgun. Bobby fell to the ground in a heap. Mr. Barnslow raised the butt of his gun to finish him off, but just then Bobby pulled out his hunting knife and plunged it into the farmer's big white belly. After that, I don't think I stole watermelons for at least a year.
TheWinePress
09-14-2007, 12:19 AM
The big, huge meteor headed toward Earth. Could nothing stop it? Maybe Bob could. He was suddenly on top of the meteor-through some kind of space warp or something. "Go, Bob, go!" yelled on of the Generals.
The big, huge meteor headed toward Earth. Could nothing stop it? Maybe Bob could. He was suddenly on top of the meteor-through some kind of space warp or something. "Go, Bob, go!" yelled on of the Generals.
"Give me that!" said the big-guy general as he took the microphone away. "Listen Bob," he said. "you've got to steer that meteor away from Earth."
"Yes, but how?" thought Bob. Then he got an idea. Right next to him there was a steering wheel sticking out of the meteor.
blunar/2^k
09-14-2007, 02:15 PM
One morning, Jarsnips woke up with slash FROM a terrible cold. My ache aches me!
--Smiled Tulip, her lips shining like a newly peed on grass at night, before the dewdrops settle. "Shiny shiny poodle snout, jump jump shine!"
--Whined Jarsnips, ever present and aware of the shituation sheezher's hindt.
"Tulip cried, 'I've got half a mind to wallop you with the end of this pigeon!'", Jarsnip spat out with greed.
Heesh also dismayed: "Tulip was killed yesterday by a GOLF ball!"
Tulip sassed, "Was sheeh walking underneath a golf course?"
Jarsnip: "No... it uh... stabbed her to death"
yes Gra sHopper!
RAVAGE the boars tusk in it's Entirety!
you must MALICIOUSLY GRIND 775 times on each side of every mandible!
if you lose count u THERE IS NO SECOND chance!
THIS TIME U CAN'T KILL OVER!
inhalidation is not an option!
all the duododecahedral molecules must be aligned and declined!
pray on yer kneez BOi !!!
EAT THE SACRIFICIAL BROWN BANANA !!!
not another moment can be spared!
if you do not succeed
this is surely
THE
..N
.D
!
:ok::therock::ok:
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